My Grandmother (and Britney Spears)

Who is this person?

You have to wonder about celebs, don't you. I'm saying this because I've just seen a scowling David Beckham lounging in his underpants. Victoria sees this regularly and is probably blasé about it, but it's a bit much for the rest of us. Being a ten-stone weakling with legs like a baby stork, maybe I'm just a bit jealous.

But because they're not 'normal' folk, I got to thinking about why celebs end up being so silly. I had a quick look around the Web.

Up popped Britney Spears at the top of the list in a clip from her reality show, stoned allegedly and burping too. She's telling a bloke called “Kevin” that she's ugly and that she feels she's been “missing out on life”. She feels like she's “behind”. Well, it has to be said she's not really ugly, but sadly the rest is probably true.

In the next clip I look at she's seen crying while appealing for privacy and respect. Another video shows an excerpt from this sensitive interview but includes a few special effects to make it look like there's snot running out of her nose. Hilarious that.

Another video.. includes a few special effects

to make it look like there's snot running out of her nose

There's other stuff too that will be of particular interest to 14-year-old lads who hide those magazines below their beds. There she is, showing her underwear as she gets out of a car. And here she is almost accidentally exposing her key assets. Then there's the (very) see-through top. And finally we can get a close-up of her backside half-exposed. On and on it goes, the exploitive transformation of a real person into a lurid spectacle. Who's behind this crap?

And let's not even think about Paris or Robbie… or Celebrity Big Brother… or The X Factor. Actually, it's quite a long list we'd be as well forgetting about.

I must admit to sometimes feeling a little sorry for most celebs. No, really. Rising through the stratosphere like shooting stars they're quickly gobbled up by huge entertainment industries that don't give a damn about them. As long as there's money to be made and a product to be sold, unsuspecting young adults like Spears will be polished, packaged and paraded. The monster machine rolls over them without any genuine regard for their mental and physical well-being. They are hounded by the obsessive media circus to the point of distraction and disintegration.

Fame fries their brains. They believe the lie that they really are special and important. They outgrow who they actually are, eventually becoming some kind of living comic strip. A clownish parody. They do and say very silly things. They wear daft clothes, or just very few. Witless adulation that spawns egotism can help to hammer them into an identity crisis. Ultimately many of them cross over into self-abuse and emotional turmoil. They become objects of ridicule, endlessly dragged into the spotlight for humiliation. Nobody over a certain age takes them seriously.

Or do they?

I'm astounded by the success of celeb TV chat shows and magazines. To me Hello! and OK! magazines are less than toilet paper, but their popularity is nothing short of phenomenal. It seems there are plenty who see nothing wrong with drooling over and idolising the rich and famous, to what end I'm not sure. I know of one mature Christian lady who travelled to the States from Ireland just to see a leading actor from an American soap. Why? There are people (mostly women I note) who send get well cards to fictional characters they see each week on TV. What's wrong with their heads?

It must be weird being important because you're famous. The UK's Royal Family may be the ultimate example. But the other way around would mean a lot more. Think about Sharon Osbourne, Mick Jagger and Diana Spencer. Now think about Christiaan Barnard, Mahatma Gandhi and Alan Turing. What does the bigger picture tell you? It's not just about success and fame, is it?

We live in a world dotted with expensive statues of sporting personalities, politicians, comedians, singers and war heroes. But for all we know many of these famous faces may have been obnoxious, selfish individuals you'd hurriedly cross the street to avoid. Popularity, talent and bravery are no recommendation.

I've every reason to doubt that my local council will be putting up a statue to an ordinary bloke who's shown love, neighbourliness and strong character throughout his life. I'd like Britney to know through experience that it's these qualities that hold society together. In their light celebrity becomes a ridiculous irrelevancy. If more of us had more sense more celebs would simply disappear. That might give them a chance to get their minds sorted out.

1911-2003

And that brings me to my grandmother.

Like my precious late wife she was a great example to us all, keeping to high moral standards throughout her life. She always put her family and friends first. She was there for her neighbours when they needed help. She never had a lot of money yet always managed to get by, often by doing without herself. She selflessly nursed my grandfather for 17 years until the very day he collapsed and died of a massive heart attack at 88 years of age. She was 86 then and 92 when she peacefully slept away.

Talk about important and special! Most of today's hot celebs know little of these things. Some of them may lovingly need reminded. It's the worthwhile stuff they're missing out on. It leaves them behind.

But perhaps the most worrying thing about celebrity is realising that given the right set of circumstances many of us would end up exactly the same. Either you're lucky or you're not, perhaps. So we must cling resolutely to higher standards. I've learned that losing those we love deeply – the most important people in our lives who lived by example – can inspire us to better things.

It came as a terrible, painful shock to find myself wakening up on my own – that one special person in my life had gone for good. Intense grief reminded me of my pitiful good intentions over the years. My massive loss made me realise once again what's so very obvious to others. If I had been highly successful at something – photography for example – it would have amounted to nothing at all if I'd selfishly put myself and my interests before those I love and care about most. They need me. People come first. What do they get from us? Have we the time to give freely?

There just isn't enough time to live selfishly. Your tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

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